i'm just your average archaeologist. middle-aged male, covered in a khaki embrace with pockets for days. the only thing missing from my cargo shorts ... is you. i want you to lie on the ground in my back yard like a dirty fossil. lay there, like a naughty, sultry pterodactyl just waiting to be uncovered out of my adult-size sandbox. maybe, in return, you can inspect MY large bone. i assure you that it is as hard as petrified wood. email me with the subject, "jurassic daddy" and i will pound you into extinction.