someday, i will see you again. i can't even begin to guess at how that event will unfold after all this time, but i do know that i will walk away from it more dead inside than alive. i wish i could go back to the day we met, not at the berries but at the lake, and stop myself from ever having laid eyes on you. i'd lose the chance of being with the love of my life, however breifly, but i'd be spared from this nightmare i am living in and from the torture of my closest companion being your ghost. i miss you with practically every beat of my heart, love you still, more than i could ever possibly love another, and i can't make it stop! can't rationalize it or reason with myself to make it go away. it is seemingly eternal. my dying breath will still be one of heartache and longing, but then, at least, i will finally be free of it. we will meet again someday my love, but even though all these things will still be as true then as they are right at this moment, there will be not even a glimmer in my eye to betray it to you. i love you, knot king, even though in no way do you warrent it, always and forever. i also hate you just as deeply. until we meet again, goodnight. i love you.